Hold on, this one may get a little controversial. But, if you get to know me, you’ll know that it’s not my style to only tackle the flowery subjects.
I’d love to know the real “why” many people are opting out of having kids at their wedding. Some say that they want it to be an “adult affair”. Some people say that they don’t want kids running around. Some point out that “there’s the one kid” so if they don’t invite the problem child then they can’t invite anyone else’s little cherubs. If money is a concern cutting the tikes, I completely understand. If there are other reasons, I’d love to understand.
I think some may just be saying that they don’t want unconcerned parents at their wedding. They don’t want people who will be drinking and not attending to their offspring. I really think that’s it because kids are USUALLY pretty darn cute.
Children bring a whimsy to an event that adults just can’t do (until they are a few drinks deep). Kids bring an unbridled love for life, a willingness to dance like no one is watching, a playfulness to open the dance floor with all the latest and not so greatest moves. Kids make a party.
Picture the flower girl swirling around the dance floor all alone while the adults begin their 8 course meal. I guarantee you the Father of the Bride is watching her twirl and thinking to himself that his little girl was spinning in frilly dresses just like that not so long ago. Let him experience that bittersweet moment as he glances across as the lovely lady he just gave away.
Back on the day when my husband gave me his name, we had SIX children under the age of nine in our wedding. I could not imagine taking the most important walk of my life without my niece and nephews there. I remember taking my niece dress shopping for her flower girl ensemble. I can still hear her little voice in the back asking me questions about the wedding and singing my wedding song from the back seat. I truly "could not ask for more". Then, imagine seeing 5, count them, FIVE, miniature tuxedos walking down the aisle like men. They had a job and by God they were going to do it. I could not have been more proud.
Some of my favorite pics of the night were with those little ones. Ty who is now taller than my husband basically lived on Matt’s shoulders at that point in his life. He did that day too.
Lylah, my one and only niece at the time, dancing with me looking at me like she was experiencing a real life fairy tale.
Wyatt, who usually does things only his way, looking completely bewildered but carrying those rings down the aisle. I hope it was because in his heart he knows that I would do anything for him any day of his life.
Drew passed out at the end of the night, tuxedo top undone and the groomsmen may or may not have staged a few empties near him (I have not shared that pic here because I love him too much and know that it embarrasses him).
Robie in the middle of that same group of groomsmen rocking out to White Snake.
And last but never least, Colt with a huge Elvis smile on his face looking like he was running but that was actually a dance move. (Thinking about this give me that Elvis smirk.)
Those same kids have grown up to become some of my best friends though I still call them my babies. I cherish every time they choose to be with me. I would be so sad to talk to them about the wedding and add “but we wanted an adult affair”.
There are options for a happy-medium. You could hire a babysitter and set up an area where he/she could watch the children if needed. You could ask that someone pick the children up from the venue around bedtime if convenient. You could have an area set up an activity center for the kids.
For ideas around sticky situations like this and so many others, please reach out to me and I promise to give you real-life advice every step of the way.
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