We love a good old-fashioned vow ceremony, but more often these days, couples are finding ways to write and/or say their own vows. If you write them, it doesn't mean you have to verbally share them on the day of (hint hint). One of my couples dreamed up the BRILLIANT idea of writing their vows to one another and passing them off on the morning of for each to read separately before the ceremony. It was a special moment for each of them to reflect on the meaning of the day...I'm now borrowing that idea - thanks to the Becks!
Below are some tips, I suggest, if you choose to write your vows for personal or public consumption:
Be clear about the meaing of marriage for you. Take the time to explain how love feels and what it means to you.
I, Sara, take you, Jack, to be my husband. From the time I was a little girl, I would watch the way Grandma would hold Grandad's hand and I dreamed of having a love like that. They held hands for 62 years and I want to hold yours just as long.
Mention their best qualities.
There are so many things I love about you, but I think I first loved you when you picked my nephew up and carried him on your shoulders.... and he stayed there for like the next 2 years. Your gentle, and carrying, and you open my door for me not because you have to but because you want to. You treat me the way a lady should be treated. You always strive for more and push me to be more. I can't wait to see what our life together becomes. You always set high goals and I can't wait to reach for them with you.
This time as sweetly as you can muster, tell them you love them and why.
I love you because simply saying good morning to you makes my day worthwhile. my good days are better and my bad days aren't so bad because you, my rock, are there to catch me. I can't imagine facing anything without you.
Make your vow. Make your promise. Mean it.
From the day we met, and from this day, formally, I will love only you, Jack. I promise my faithfulness, my patience, my hopes, and my love. I promise myself and all that I am, to you, Jack. It is the honor of my life to be called your wife.