I’m of the mindset if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. That is unless it comes to home upgrades then this sentiment need not apply…. I’m with Lowes, "never stop improving". There are floors that need to be redone, chandeliers that need to be hung, and a cute little French balcony I’m imagining.
Back to the original sentiment…It’s a current trend in today’s weddings to write your own personal vows. I’m a little confused. You are planning to stand in front of 100-200 your friends and family in a traditional act of unity on any given Saturday between April and October, Dad walking you down the aisle giving you away, best girls and guys by your side, old, new, borrowed and blue covered, and a plated entrée promised with a choice of beef or chicken following the cocktail hour. All traditional aspects of a wedding, then, when it comes to the vows, the important part, we are getting cutesy.
Why mess with something so sacred? I come from a long line of love. A long line of couples who have lived the "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.” That’s real commitment there. That’s putting it out there that, man, I am by your side. I am signing up for this shit and I am ready to go through the muck with you when it’s bad. And when it’s good, I’m going to sit right alongside you in my rocking chair and smile. We are in this thing together. Saying the same words that my sisters said to their husbands, that my mom and dad shared, that my grandparents exchanged, that my brother would soon say to his lovely bride means something. It means a lot actually.
Don’t get me wrong. I love personal touches in weddings. It’s what makes my job fun. It’s what helps me to make each wedding unique. I just think it’s safest to leave the vows sacred. Make all the promises in the world that you want IN ADDITION to the traditional vows, but let’s leave them, for lack of a better word (maybe), holy.
I offer my couples a suggestion. How about we leave the vows as they are and as they are meant to be - a sacred bond, written in stone, storm weathered, tried and true? Then, in the reception, we take a moment to remind everyone why we are celebrating with a toast from the bride to the groom and vice versa. Here, we can share personal sentiments about promising not to argue when we’re hungry, always put our socks in the laundry, always take out the trash the first time we’re asked, and to share equally in baby-rearing duties should we be blessed with children. That’s the type of stuff we can share at a party, but maybe not so much at a sacred ceremony.
In my opinion. Agree? Disagree? Let me know!